That which was lost
by Cannibalistic Oreos
Summary: Sharing an apartment can be hard. Life threatening situations are normal between friends Matt and Mello. But when Mello starts to get upset over Matt's constant flirting, what's a guy to do? - VERY mild Shonen-Ai, Mature themes -
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: **Loyal Dog

_Chapter one is written by Emmychan._

_Death Note and all related characters and logos belong to NTV, D.N.Dreamparters, VAP, Shueisha, and Madhouse, Original story belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata_

Ah yes, I thought as I leaned over the clock, finger pushing against the 'alarm off' button, Monday; or, as I like to call it in my Nintendo scattered brain, D-Day. The day when I, Matt, must wake up so very early as to shower and go shopping before my compulsive friend, Mello, wakes up, begging on his knees- with a gun- for a chocolate bar. Now this wouldn't be so bad if it was only this morning, but when I bought said chocolate, I would need to stock for the entire week as too keep the tempered man fazed long enough to escape the gun he kept at his side. And as I'm sure you're all snickering to yourself about right now, I am _not_ whipped, simply... devoted; loyal, like a dog. If I was whipped, I'd be doing much worse things. Such as the following- read it while I shower, will you?

_It was Sunday night, about 2 years ago, and Mello was heading off to bed quite early. I was confused about this gesture, but made no attempts to figure out its reasoning. As he passes by me in the kitchen, wearing only boxers and the black, fuzzy slippers I had bought him for his last birthday, I noticed he had in his hand a magazine. What kind of magazine? I can't say at this time, for it was rolled up and hidden quite well between his body and arm. Now I know a few of you are making guesses as to the type of magazine he had; most of you are correct. When I followed him into his room, he was sitting cross-legged on his bed, with a large smile and possessive eyes. When his head lifted, he had called me over. Now, now, I know the thoughts you're thinking. Please bear with me. After my name left his lips, he said to me:_

"_Come check out this awesome gun." I did as I was told and sat next to him. It was a hand-held. That was all I made note of before he began rambling on about its features. I'm sure you're __**now**__ thinking, 'what kind of teenage boy reads gun magazines late at night?' Well, here's my answer. I don't really know. I tend to follow teenage-boy stereotypes quite well. Let's get back on track now, shall we? After he had finished, he turned to me with sparkling eyes and the 'gimme, gimme' pout. My hand threw itself against his face and shoved him down on the bed. I fell on top and have him a glare. At that, I said 'no,' and reminded him of the 13 guns I had bought him already over the past 5 months. Mello never was a giver, but boy could he take._

That probably distracted you long enough. I stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel from the wrack, wrapping it around my waist tightly. I shook my head, water from my hair flying against all the walls. Flipping the fan switch, I rubbed the steam off the mirror. I must say, I'm pretty attractive for 16. And don't act like you don't agree, even the tiniest bit.

I found myself a comb and ran it through my hair, keeping my eyes steadily open as I place each lock in the proper position. After this was done, I pulled the towel from my waist and stepped out of the room, whistling in all of my naked glory. It was a short walk from the bathroom to my room. Too short, if you ask me; who was it who decided man needed to wear clothes anyway? I mean, in the winter, sure, but it was summer time, baby. Steamy side walks, warm rain, blazing sun, busy beaches and best of all, tank tops; the accessory no man ever misses. I say accessory because the size of those things don't count for clothing, in my eyes. I kept a stern gaze on my hair as I pulled my shirt over my head, immediately fixing anything that may have been misplaced. I grabbed a belt from the drawer as I walked away, weaving it through my belt loops as I stepped back into the kitchen.

I opened the fridge and pulled out the milk, tipping my head back and pouring it into my mouth. Cups are for uncoordinated losers. Remember that kids, it'll help you fit in with the big brothers. So I say as I sputtered; the liquid spilling out of my mouth and down my neck. I used my sleeve to wipe it off. Grabbing my goggles, and left the carton out on the counter and headed to the front door, grabbing my vest on the way by the closet.

I stepped out of the apartment building timingly, keeping an eye on my number's window as to make sure Mello wasn't watching me, then lit a cigarette after finding he wasn't. I took a couple long drags before heading down the street to the corner store. It was still early, so few people got in my way. Just a few middle-aged women heading to work and a man here and there. Maybe I just didn't pay attention to the men. I don't really care. I put out my cigarette as I turned into the store, coughing lightly into my hand as the door closed behind me.

"You could always quit, Matt." I turned my head to see the shop keeper already grabbing a box of my favourite cigarette brand.

"I could, but then you'd be screwed," I joked as I pulled 27 chocolate bars from the shelf. Mello normally ate 25, but the extra two came in handy for bribery and sometimes even my own enjoyment. I also pulled a bottle of water from the fridge on my way by. He smiled as I set my things down.

"Have you ever thought of telling this guy to buy his own chocolate?" I smirked.

"Have you ever been face to face with a guy who likes his gun more than his penis?" The old man smirked back at me. He replied with a simple 'nope' before exchanging my bills for a few hundred-yen coins.

I whistled as I headed back up the slight hill. I noted I had 13 minutes to get back after I looked at my watch. My pace increased a few notches, but then I stopped cold when I saw who was waiting for me outside.

"Where the hell have you been?! I was calling for you for 5 minutes!" Now, this occurrence was not only rare, but extremely unsightly; usually because my blonde friend never put pants on before rushing outside. I stepped closer, awaiting a smack upside the head. But instead, he reached for the bag in my hand. "You should stop buying these things," he ordered, chucking the box of cigarettes back at me. I caught them after my third fumble and rushed behind him.

"Mello, you know I care about you, so I'm saying this as a concerned friend." I followed him into the stairwell and shouted, "Put some goddamn pants on!"

He retaliated with a smug, "As if you actually want me to," before turning a corner and heading out the next door. I stayed in that spot for a minute, taking a deep breath and continuing on.

"Actually I do want you to. I'm not willing to share your precious lil' tushie," I lied as I turned my key in the door. Mello made a few whiny, not-amused mocking noises and ripped open a chocolate bar, flinging himself over the back of the count. I opened my water bottle and smiled before it reached my lips.


	2. Chapter 2

_This chapter was written by Mochi-chan; http:// mochichan93. deviantart .com_

After I put the week supply of chocolate in the cabinet, I noticed that Mello seemed to be a little more angrier then he usually is. It was more of a childish angry, though - he sat on the couch with his arms crossed and his feet on the table, with a scowl stretched across his face. Hell, he wasn't even eating his already-half-eaten chocolate bar.  
Deciding that _something_ must be wrong, I sat down next to him. He tightened his arms together.  
"Mello?"  
"Yes?" He replied.  
"What's up? Are you feeling okay?"  
"Pf, yeah." He stopped and looked at my face. "You never wear your goggles anymore."  
I couldn't really tell if that was an attempt to change the subject, or what he actually was upset about. Knowing Mello, it was probably the first choice. "… Since when do you care about my goggles? Are you just trying to change the subject?"  
He looked at his chocolate, sitting on his lap and shrugged. Quickly he unfolded his arms and took a bite of the bar. "I lost my gun."  
"What gun?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew exactly what one he was talking about.  
"_My_ gun. My favourite one."  
"Maybe somebody is trying to tell you that a 16 year old kid shou--"  
"17," he interrupted.  
"That a 17 year old kid shouldn't be using firearms. Shouldn't even _have_ them for that matter."  
He got up and smacked the side of my head. "Give me a break, Matt. You love them just as much as I do. Help me find it."  
"…Give _me_ a break, Mello. I'd much rather play my PS2 then stroke a stupid gun like you do all day."  
He glared at me and continued to his room, probably to rip it apart in search for his goddamn gun. I really wasn't in any mood to help him search for his 'precious' so I went straight to my room. Our apartment was fairly big, but he can probably have it ripped apart by the end of the day if he truly loves his gun so much.  
Personally, I think he would be better without it. The way Mello threatens me with it, it makes me wonder if he is really is as good as a friend as he says he is.  
I sat on my bed. It's so goddamn hot in here, I really need to get out. I wonder if Mello would let me, or if he would make me stay and help look.  
Deciding that maybe I should stay, I opened my window to let the cool air in and switched on my Xbox. Halo 3 was in the system already and I didn't feel like getting up and changing it, so I settled for what I had.  
"MATT!? ARE YOU CHECKING YOUR ROOM?!" I heard a familiar shouting from the room beside mine.  
"UH, YEAH SURE MELLO. DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT'S IN HERE."  
He stayed quiet for a minute. Without me even realizing it, a second later he was standing beside my television with an annoyed expression.  
"You didn't even look, did you?"  
"Uh, no. You got me." I chuckled. "Why would it be in _my_ room, Mello?"  
"Because I DO come in here with it, do I not?"  
"Yes, but you would never leave it in here. You're the one who cares about it so much, look for it yourself."  
"You can at least do your _best_ friend a favour, Matt. It's not like you ever do anything but sit on your ass and play games." He emphasized the 'best.'  
"I do other things, I walk around the beach sometimes."  
"Yeah, we all know why you're _actually_ at the beach. I know you hate the sand and the salt water smell."  
"Do I need more of a reason to be there? Mello, if you opened your eyes and looked around, you'd notice that the girls here are HOT."  
Mello seemed taken back by that statement. He muttered something, that was kind of hard to understand, but it sort of sounded to me like he said "There are reasons why I don't" Yeah, whatever that was supposed to mean.  
I looked back at my game screen and Mello left my room. I hope I didn't offend him somehow, he seemed kind of annoyed when I mentioned the hot girls.  
I flicked the Xbox off. It was getting boring. I lied back on my bed and closed my eyes. It was just too hot. I couldn't stand to be in here anymore. But, speaking of hot girls…  
I wandered into the kitchen to find Mello with his back leaned against the counter staring at the floor frustrated, while drinking some water. I wondered what room he was going to tackle next.  
"Mello, I'm going out. I hope you find your gun soon."  
He shrugged his shoulders while he watched me put my boots on and walk out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

_This chapter was written by me. Enjoy._

The first thought that traveled through my brain as I stepped out the door was: Why do I have such bulky boots on during summer? I headed the opposite direction I went earlier, past the bookstore, and headed into the shoe store.

"Welcome!" A blonde girl, with pig-tails on either side of her head, was standing behind the counter wearing a vertical striped apron. She was cute, but young; couldn't be older then myself. I headed toward her regardless.

"I don't normally go... you know, shoe shopping, but it's too hot for these boots." My eyes wandered around the shop.

"Don't worry about that kind of stuff," she laughed and pulled her leg up on the counter. "I've been wearing nothing but these shoes for the past year."

"Guess we're on the same page then." I returned her post-laugh smile before she slipped out from behind the counter. The more I talked to her, the more childish she seemed. She went from 16 to 13 in just two sentences.

"I don't have anything as bad-ass and sexy as those boots, but I'm we have something that should match up." Twelve.

"Sounds good." I wandered around when she went into the back. Most of the shoes there were for woman, but they did have some pretty hot men's shoes, too. Nothing I'd see Mello wear... Except maybe those black pumps off in the corner. I snickered to myself before I heard the bell of the door ring.

"Oh, look who it is!" My head fell into my shoulders. Please Lord, I never ask you for anything. Please let him be wearing pants...! I took a deep breath in before turning around. I let it out when I saw he was fully clothed.

"The name's Matt. It's nice to meet you." I closed my eyes for only a second before I found myself being held against the wall by a scrawny arm and a gun barrel in my stomach.

"Do you know where I found this, Matt?" His eyes were wide and his teeth were clenched together. My brain told me many times not to say anything smug, but of course I didn't listen.

"In the drawer, next to your condoms and lubricant?" I heard a click before getting shoved harder.

"Very funny Matty. I found it, in, your, bed." He would jab me harder between every word, but pulled back as soon as that twelve year old girl came out from the back room.

"Oh, is this a friend of yours?" She luckily didn't see Mello's gun, the idiot.

"Oh! I get it now!" He shouted, jumping off of me and storming toward the door. "You just came here to flirt with 10 year olds! Holy pedophilia Matt!" He ended up chucking a shoe at me before he practically ripped the door off and headed through it. I closed my eyes; avoiding the look that poor girl must have on her face at that moment.

"I'm uh... just going to go..." I flew out the door and ripped back to the apartment. Kicking the door open and chucking my vest onto the floor. Mello's door was shut and I could hear him playing with the gun's trigger. I pulled off my gloves and placed a hand over the doorknob.

"Go away!" How does he always know? It's like he has some sort of camera outside his bedroom door. Oh crap, what if he looks at me when I walk by his door naked in the morning? I shook the blush of my face before turning the door knob.

"Mello," I whined playfully, wandering over to his bed. He turned away from me and threw his gun in the drawer. He told me to go away again before grabbing the blankets from beside him and pulling them over his body. His blinds were drawn and his lamp was turned off. I sat myself on the bed opposite him. "Mello what are you so angry about?"

"You flirting with 10 year olds," he moaned under his blankets. He rolled once more, stuffing his face into his pillow.

"Ignoring the fact that you KNOW she's older then 10, why should you care who I flirt with?" There was a long pause. A pause filled with tension. Truth be told, I've always been wondering why he gets so cross when I flirt. It's not like it's possible he likes me, the way he... holds guns to my gut and bites me if there's no chocolate bar in his mouth. I heard a noise come from his head. I assumed it was an 'I don't know,' and stood up.

At that, I headed back into my room, pulled off my shirt and flopped myself on my own bed. It was nearing lunch time. I figured I should eat before I fell asleep. At that, I stood up again and went back into the kitchen.

At that time I wasn't aware though that Mello was watching me from his door frame. If I was aware, I would have asked him. But instead I reached in the fridge and grabbed some cheese and butter. It was time to fry me up a grilled cheese sandwich.


	4. Chapter 4

_This chapter was written by Mochi-chan. http:// mocha-chan93. Deviantart .com_

I dropped the buttered bread and cheese on the frying pan and turned on the burner. I turned around to throw the wrappers in the garbage to notice that Mello was leaning against the wall staring at me - quite angrily I might add.  
"Do you need something, Mello?" He didn't say anything, so I sighed.  
Sometimes, he's so much like a child I want to hug him. Usually, it's cute. Right now, it's just plain annoying. He's beginning to really piss me off.  
I flipped my sandwich and turned back to him.  
"Mello, I didn't take your goddamn gun and stick it in my goddamn bed. If you're angry at me for that, I don't know what to say, because it wasn't goddamn me."  
He still didn't say anything. His angry face seemed to soften a little bit.  
"And if I did take it, not saying I did, don't you think I would've hid it a little better?"  
"Matt…"  
"So you're finally going to say something?"  
"Your grilled cheese is burning."  
"Fuck!" I took the smoking grilled cheese out with my bare hand and without even noticing the scorching hotness burning my palm, I threw it at him. Don't ask me why, I don't know. I was just really angry and really looking forward to that grilled cheese, "You burned my fucking sandwich!" I added as I threw it at him with impressive force.  
He put his arms up to dodge it, but it hit his face before he could. His mouth dropped into a huge frown and I realized what I had just done.  
"Oops…"  
"Matt, you fucking bastard! I wasn't even mad at you about the gun! I believed you! And then you go throw a fucking sandwich at me? What the fuck?!" He wiped the cheese that had splattered on his face off and turned to most likely head to the bathroom.  
"If you weren't mad at me about the gun, you could've fuckin' said so! You just made me so angry staring at me like that… Ugh! You're.. such a child!"  
"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO THROWS SANDWICHES AT PEOPLE, MATT." He yelled from the washroom.  
"OKAY, I'M FUCKING SORRY FOR THROWING THE SANDWICH AT YOU." I walked to the bathroom, stepping over the mangled mess of burnt bread and cheese. "It was an… impulse. I don't know, I just really wanted to eat that."  
"You threw it at me because you wanted to eat it?"  
"No, I threw it at you because I was angry."  
Suddenly, the unexpected happened. Mello, started laughing. Like, hysterically laughing.  
I think there was something wrong with him, but he was scaring me too much to ask.  
"Haha… and you call me a child?" He stated, after stopping his fit of laughter  
"You are! You pout at me, and threaten me, and you… cuddle that stupid gun like it's your teddy bear!" I was beginning to lose my train of thought. He was staring at me with a smug grin on his face with his arms crossed and he looked sort of… hot.  
Wait, what am I thinking..? He's my best friend!  
"Okay, Matt, I'm sorry."  
"Yeah, me too."  
"Good, now go clean up your sandwich while I wash up."  
I left the washroom and walked slowly to the kitchen. There was an odd smell of burning, but I figured it was just my grilled cheese.  
"Holy fuck!" I darted to the stove and grabbed a rag that was sitting on the stove- and on fire. I had left the burner on and a dish rag on the counter must've gotten too close.  
I chucked it on the floor and stomped on it repeatedly. The fire was out, but not all of it.  
To my sad luck, it had caught my sleeve on fire.  
"Agh! MELLO! MELLO!"  
I fell to the floor and proceeded in rolling around.  
"What is it?"  
"I'M ON FUCKING FIRE!"  
He started laughing hysterically again, and turned the burner off. He didn't even help me, just watched and laughed… and laughed… and laughed. The hysterics stopped when the annoying ringing of the smoke alarm went off - all around the building.  
We both swore in unison.


	5. Chapter 5

_This chapter was written by me. Enjoy._

After the building was evacuated, the fire marshal hunted me down and screamed at me for a while. Now I expected to be yelled at, but the worst part was, I didn't even have a shirt on! Mello was leaning against the wall beside the door, continuing his earlier fits of laughter. Man did I want to punch him in the face then. After I was finally done being yelled at, I stomped into the building, ignoring my friend, right up the stairs and into out apartment. I slammed the door in his face and ended up locking myself in my room.  
"Mattyyy..." I heard a knock on my door. "Matty come out." I ignored him with a pout, pulling a pillow over my head. He eventually pried the door open with a metal hanger, and I felt the bed shift from underneath me. "Matt, I'm sorry for ruining your grilled cheese."  
"Then go make me another," I moaned, rolling away from him.  
"Matty..." I felt the mattress shift more, and I felt his arm slip over my hips.  
"Mello what are you doing?" I was a bit weirded out at this point, but scarily enough, I was begging hopelessly for more. I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes, shifting a bit to 'accidentally' make his hand shift a bit lower. He pulled it away immediately, damn it.  
"I'm trying to comfort you because I know I made you upset. Even though you _did_ chuck a sandwich at me." I threw my body around and faced him.  
"You deserved that, you know. Plus, you threw a shoe at me first." I groaned, closing my eyes again. "Why were you glaring at me anyway?"  
"I was jealousing over your hot butt," he smiled before stroking my hair behind me ear.  
"What the fuck, Mello." I smirked, my eyes staying closed.  
"Okay, I'll leave then. I'll make you another sandwich when you're not so moody." My thoughts were set at that point. I heard the words: 'don't go... please, stay here with me, don't go!" over and over in my head. So why couldn't I say it? Am I just afraid of Mello thinking I'm falling in love with him? Or... am I afraid of _admitting_ that I **am**? No, that's impossible. Who could EVER love Mello? He's... He's a total jerk; a... smart, sexy... jerk. With impossibly great hair... No, stop it Matt, stop it! And yet I couldn't keep my eyes off of him as he exited the room. Damn.  
I ended up falling asleep 15 minutes later. I had such a great dream... one of those dreams that made everything so clear. Oh God, tell me I didn't just quote Hannah Montana. I hate our radio station. Anyway, what happened was, there was this dog... and a cat. The lived together in a house... except the owner of the house was the girl from the shoe store- go figure. Anyway, the cat was the complete boss of the dog. It strutted around, yellow fur, prideful smirk and proud eyes. And even though said cat was a TOTAL wench to the innocent, dark brown dog, he still did stuff for him. And I kind of read the message.  
"I love him."  
"Who?" I jolted upwards, falling to the floor. I stayed there to cover my face.  
"Mello! What the hell are you doing in my room?!" I covered my face with my hand.  
"I just came to tell you your grilled cheese is ready. Didn't think I'd find out you were in _love_." He stood up timingly and stomped out of the room. My body laying on the floor and my hand laying atop my forehead, I let out a deep sigh. I heard a plate slam against wood outside the door. Mello seemed pissed about something. Luckily I knew it wasn't my fault. I've been sleeping for two hours. I picked myself up off the floor and pulled my shirt from the dresser. I held my head as I left the room, squinting at the light the open windows emitted.  
"Ugh, why don't you close those, Mello?" I joked, stepping forward with my hand above my eyes.  
"Why don't you go fuck yourself and close them yourself, Matt?" My smiled faded and my hand dropped.  
"Yeesh, who pissed in your cocoa puffs?" I sat myself down in the chair in front of my sandwich and grabbed it in my hands.  
"The same guy who came in your ass, jerk." He chucked the pan at the back of my head before locking himself in his room.  
Seriously, what the fuck? I wake up to find I pissed him off. I didn't even _do_ anything. I grumbled angrily after swallowing. I wasn't hungry anymore. Not to mention my head hurt like a bitch now. Fuck hypocrisy, I'm going to get him back later tonight. I headed into the living room, flicked open my lighter, holding it to the cigarette in my mouth.  
"PUT THAT SHIT OUT."  
Fuck that psychic bitch.


	6. Chapter 6

_This chapter was written by Mochi-Chan. http:// mochi-chan93. Deviantart .com_

Maybe it was the way I held my cigarette, but I didn't really noticed until now how fucking bad my hand HURT. It was burnt to shit. I was really regretting throwing that sandwich at Mello now, because if I didn't, the palm of my hand wouldn't be burnt, only the top of it from the fire.  
But you know what? I'm too goddamn pissed about what has happened today and what ever is wrong with Mello to care about my hand. It may be SEARING in pain, but that's the least of my problems right now.  
I took my cigarette in my left hand and sucked in. Ah, good ol' tobacco. It always seems to calm me down a bit. I sighed. I sat down on the couch and finished my cig. Stamping it in the ash tray, I began to think about it.  
"Oh no… what if he's figured it out? What if he knows… that I might… l-love… him. Maybe that's why he's pissed! Maybe he's homophobic… But, now that I think about it., he doesn't really show interest in women… hell, he doesn't show interest in anybody.  
Oh my god! What if he's asexual?! That would make things worse!"  
My thoughts began to trail off and I soon found myself laughing quietly to myself about the asexual thing, because knowing Mello, it could be true.  
I got up and walked through the hallway. Of course, Mello had his door shut. Maybe I should go in and try explaining to him that I wasn't… interested… in him.  
Though we all know that's a lie.  
I knocked on the door. How many times have we had to do this today?  
"Mello?"  
"What the fuck do you want? Go away."  
He's acting like a child again. No, maybe more like an actual teenager.  
"Mello…" I opened the door. "You know, keeping people out by shutting your door has no effect unless you lock it."  
"Shut up Matt. I was too pissed at you to notice."  
"Why are you _so_ pissed?"  
"Just shut the fuck up and go away."  
"Fine, Mello. If that's how you want it, then I will. Don't expect me to be coming back anytime soon, either."  
I slammed his door and headed for the coat closet. I attempted to grab my boots, but my hand started pulsing in pain, so I used my left. I stomped my boots on and slammed the apartment door and found myself in the hallway of the large building.  
"Where am I going?"  
I took out another cigarette, and examined my hand. Maybe I should get it bandaged up.  
While puffing on a cigarette, I walked to the nearest doctor's clinic, making sure to walk by the beach. I examined, but the girls just didn't seem pretty enough today. Sighing, I opened the door to the Clinic.  
It took about 30 minutes for the doctor to torture me with all that medication and bandages, but soon I found myself walking back to the apartment building. Maybe Mello had calmed down by now and was ready to listen.  
I entered out 'house' as you might call it. I passed by his room to find the door opened and Mello sleeping quietly on his bed. I didn't enter and shut his door.  
"Matt, come here."  
Was he pretending to sleep? I walked into the room.  
"What did you do to your hand?" He asked groggily.  
"I burned it, remember?"  
He pushed his head into his pillow and rubbed it with his face a few times. He looked back at me.  
"Matt, I'm sorry."  
I gave him a frustrated look. "I bet."  
"I am, I overreacted."  
"I know you did."  
"Y'know, when you have feelings for someone, the least you can do is tell me. I am your best friend, after all. It's not like you're some kind of girl, you don't have to keep the 'bottled up' It's dumb."  
"Why do you care so much? Besides, it's not that simple."  
"It's not that simple? What, is it that shoe store chick? It's too difficult to tell me you're into pedophillia?"  
I coughed intentionally. This was getting awkward, and sadly, he is just as clueless as I first thought.  
"What about you, Mello? Do you have 'feelings' for anybody?"  
"What if I do?"  
"Then I know you aren't asexual."  
"Asexual, Matt? What the hell?" He grabbed a crumpled up chocolate bar wrapper and threw it at me.  
I walked away from the door and sat on his bed. I'm kind of relieved he isn't so pissed at me anymore. That's what I like about him, no matter how pissed he gets, he always gets over it quickly.  
"You're kind of clueless, you know..?" Mello said breaking a silence.  
"I could say the same about you." I leaned back and put my head on the bed. At this point, Mello was sitting up and looking not so angry anymore. He stared at my face.  
"How am I the clueless one?" He pouted.  
I laughed. It came to an abrupt stop when I realized Mello hadn't been wearing a shirt this entire time. A blush came across my face and I tried to hide it by putting my arm on top my eyes. He was changing his position, I could tell by the movement of the bed.  
I didn't want to look, so I kept my arm over my eyes. This was getting kind of embarrassing seeing him without a shirt on, and me, blushing like a little schoolgirl about it. Soon enough, I was forced into looking, because Mello moved my arm from my face. He was on top of me, but not quite touching. I blushed more and turned my face. He put it back into position.  
"Mello…"  
"Matt" He whispered in my ear. "I can't stand it any longer…"


	7. Chapter 7

_This chapter was written by me. Enjoy._

"Matt... I can't take it..."  
I froze- literally. I think my heart may have stopped beating. My vision was clouded by my own foolish feelings. I think I was going to be sick. If not, I was going to pass out. The heat was unbearable! My heart's pumping so fast! I think it's going to burst right out of my chest! Oh God, Mello!! At that, my eyes fell shut and I was enveloped in darkness. I could hear the words echo through my head.  
"I'm sorry..."  
"For what?!" I jolted up, panting, sweating, and my entire body was shaking. I found myself back in my own bed, wearing nothing but my own underwear. Was it a dream? No. I lifted my hand and saw the bandage from doctor was still there. I remember... talking to Mello when I got home. What happened after that? Surely not what I remember; that's impossible.  
"Maaaatt~!" Who was that? Certainly Mello wouldn't be stressing the a in my name, sing-songing as he called. But apparently it was him. The door burst open and the sunlight poured in and headed straight into my eyes. I squinted, crossed my legs under the blankets and rested my arms on top of them. I saw a spatula come flying through the door, smacking me in the forehead, leaving a red mark and knocking me onto my back.  
"Get up, lazy ass! I made breakfast!" Breakfast? Made? I?!  
"Who are you and what the hell have you done with my best friend?!" There was a small pause and a sigh. Mello popped his head in with a sad smile.  
"Must I be questioned for being nice?" I smirked.  
"Yes," I started, sitting myself up again, "because you never have been." Mello's smile fell.  
"Do you want another frying pan smacked against your brain?"  
"Not really." I stood up and followed him back into the kitchen.  
And sure enough, there was a large stack of chocolate chip pancakes sitting in front of me. Oh boy, how I felt like a dog then. I took a fork full regardless. And surprisingly, Mello could cook. How talented a psycho, gun-wielding man could be. I smiled after swallowing.  
"Wow, Mello! These are fantastic!" He gave me a surprised pout before swinging his head to the left.  
"Why do you sound so surprised, ass hole?" I smiled again and stuffed another bunch in my mouth.  
"But what are you going to eat?" He smirked and pointed at the chocolate bar by the stove. I swallowed again and my face fell. "That's not healthy, you know." He gave me a death glare and rolled his eyes.  
"Like you care about my diet." I blinked timidly. Oh Mello, how obstinate you could be.  
"Of course I do." I turned to face him. He was faced away from me with his arms crossed. But from the bit of face I could see, he was blushing. Obstinate, psycho and adorable, kind of like the shoe-store girl. I grinned. "Why shouldn't I care about the health of my best friend?" His arms fell and his face turned white.  
"Jesus Christ, Matt!" He then pulled the frying pan from the sink and threw it at me. I dodged it and looked at him like he was insane; because apparently he was. "Just shut the fuck up and eat your stupid pancakes! I'm going out! And don't expect me back for a while!" I watched him with a blank expression as he stomped in and out of his room and the closet, eventually leading to him slamming the front door.  
"What the hell did I do this time?" I fell back against the chair and put another fork full of pancakes in my mouth, watching the door. He'd be back by noon. Ha-ha, I should lock him out. No, no that wouldn't be nice. I turned around to see the frying pan sitting on the living room floor behind me. I laughed at it. Why was it that Mello got so angry when I talked about girls or our relationship? I mean... that dream... It couldn't possibly have happened. Not in a million years.  
Pondering endlessly over the situation, I spent my day cleaning up the kitchen and bathroom, then playing Halo 3 for a few hours in my room. My competitors were some tough mofos, but of course I won. After I finished playing, I leaned back in my chair and found it was almost supper time. How on earth did I miss lunch? I mean, honestly? I thought men had like... Super hunger reflexes and always knew when it was time to eat. Oh well. I stood up holding the back of my head and wandered back into the kitchen. I can't believe it's only Tuesday. Hopefully Mello's little 'woman's week' ends soon. I'm kind of tired of him chucking blunt objects at me. I ended up pulling a sandwich from the fridge. It looked about 4 days old, but who cares?  
"My head hurts..." I held my forehead as I ate. It was aching over all the thinking I've been doing all day. The conclusion I came to is: 'Mello doesn't have any other friends and isn't willing to share me with anybody.' I wonder how he would react if he found out it was him I liked. Playing the scene in my head, it ended with me getting knocked unconscious with something like a large appliance. A sad smile crossed my face after I swallowed the last bite of my sandwich. I then pulled off my clothing and rolled into my bed. I need to sleep off this headache.  
I woke up a few hours later. The clock read 9:50. I was still tired, but I was hungry, a bit thirsty, and in all honesty, I had to pee. Exiting my room, I looked to the right at the front door to see Mello's shoes were back and his coat was lying on the floor just outside the closet.  
"Lazy ass..." I muttered and stepped forward. I looked to my left and saw Mello's door closed and no light coming from the crack underneath. It was odd for him to be sleeping this early, but I disregarded it. I walked across the hall into the kitchen and pulled open the cupboard, grabbing one of the chocolate bars that were in there. Ripping open the foil, I continued left and flipped over the back of the couch. I began biting down, but then heard an unusual plead coming from the bathroom.  
"M-Matt... why don't you... ah... Please, Matt!" My left eyebrow rose onto my forehead and my mouth fell downwards around the bar hanging from my mouth. Let me just make it clear that I was devastatingly calling back to him. The cries continued as I grew closer, except they were louder, and they sounded more desperate.  
"Why do you always... ha... push me... ah...! Away...?" I slowly lifted my arm and knocked against the door.  
"Mello... are you okay...?" I'm sure you all came the same conclusion I did.  
"Matt...? Uh... ah... I'll be right... right out." I bit my lip in anger. Suddenly he's all nice? This constant flipping of attitude was pissing me off.  
"No, Mello, I need to talk to you, right... ...now." I shoved open the door in anger. And after I did, I really wish I didn't.


	8. Chapter 8

Mello dropped to his heels and looked me over, tugging at his shirt. "I wanted to surprise you since I was being such a dick."

I looked over the bathroom. He had cleaned it. It was sparkling. My jaw dropped and I pointed nervously. "A-And the... The gasping and..."

Mello approached me and slapped the rag in my face. "Sorry that I'm too short to reach over the counter without my stomach getting squished. It makes it a bit hard to breathe."

I was too dumbfounded to even consider what he was muttering about before. Although I couldn't decide if I was relieved or disappointed that he wasn't doing what I thought he was. But at this point, all I cared about was the fact that I didn't have to walk in on something so disgusting. I mean, sure, I do it, too, but I would never do it in a bathroom.

I turned back into the living room. Mello had relocated to the couch where he was sprawled over with his legs spread. He was staring out the window, a hand draped over his forehead. It was like some kind of leather Abercrombie ad. Such lust and angst reflected in his eyes. He almost seemed to be in deep thought; which was rare for Mello. I licked my lips a bit before shrugging and heading back to my room.

As I lay on my bed, a bunch of different thoughts flew through my mind. My leg was up, one folded over the other, arms behind my head. I whistled a soft tune, fiddling with the elastic to my goggles behind my head.

Why was he muttering those things? Could that dream of my really have happened? It just sounds so illogical and unlikely, I found it hard to even consider it. But maybe I had to? Maybe, just maybe, it was true?

I pushed myself up and leaned over my legs, looking down at the mess of sheets under me. The room was dark. Maybe this denial was just something I'd have to get over for now. But if I get over this denial, what if I just scare him off? Though, I'd rather tell him the truth and have myself a concussion then keep it a secret until he dies. I couldn't live with that regret. He's my best friend. I can't just keep hiding things from him. For all I know, it's just infatuation. I still liked girls. It's not like I saw Mello as something sexual. Sure, he was attractive, but I don't think I would be willing to go as far as... having sex with him.

I shuddered a bit at the very thought. Maybe I was more homophobic than I realized. I shook my head and threw myself over the bed, jumping to my feet. When I poked my head out the door, Mello's feet were still hanging out from the edge of the couch. The TV was on, but it was a low volume. The sun was beginning to set now, making the room a gentle orange.

"Mello?" I took a full step from my room and strolled over, hands in my pockets. I kept my eyes on the TV as I stood at the foot of the couch. "Why are you watching 13 going on 30?" Part of me was embarrassed that I could tell the movie just from Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo laying together in the sand. But for some reason, I didn't really care. Why should I? Mello knew I was a softy when it came to rom-com.

After there was no response, I turned to look at him. His arm was still draped over his forehead, his eyes closed. His other hand hung off the edge of the couch, holding tightly onto the television remote. His breathing was heavy. I let a sweet smile climb onto my face watching him. He looked so peaceful. Nobody could tell that he was a gun-wielding maniac from just looking at this innocent thing lying here. My eyes glazed and my head cocked a bit to the side.

"Stop staring at me," the angel snapped. The vision shattered as he sat up, his eyes dark. I pulled back, my arms in front of me in self defence. I was about to continue my comedic relief with a comment when Mello spoke again. "Matt, I have something I want to discuss with you."

All frivolous thoughts slid down my throat in one foul swoop. I coughed once as the seriousness flooded through my nasal passage. "D-Discuss?" He pulled up into sitting and curled his legs next to his body. I sat down opposite him, a bit afraid.

"Matt, this apartment thing isn't working. All we do is fight," he explained, looking at his feet.

My eyes widened a bit, and without even thinking about it, I was holding my breath, my eyebrows curled. My chest ached and I couldn't speak. He lifted his head, his gaze piercing through mine.

_I'm moving out._


	9. Chapter 9

I was sure I had miss-heard. I shoved my pinkie in my ear, hoping that removing a glob of ear wax would manipulate his words into something... better.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, tugging my hand away from my head. Yeah, that was a good amount. Surely Mello's voice would come out clear. He pushed to his feet, looking at the television with his hands in his pockets.

"I said, I'm moving out."

There wasn't another word as he spun on his heel and headed for his bedroom door. There had to be something I could say. Something to convince him to stay. But what? Could I tell him that I might love him? Would that make things better, or worse? Maybe I should just let him go. But I couldn't afford this place on my own.

"Mello, wait," I started without thinking. My eyes widened. I didn't even realize I was standing. Mello paused in his tracks, but didn't turn to face me. I didn't even know what I was planning on saying. My tongue spun, trying to form a word, but there was nothing.

"What is it?" Mello finally responded, looking over his shoulder slightly. His eyes scrolled over and pierced through mine. He looked mad, but when I looked at his eyes, he almost seemed hoping. Like he was begging me. _Well, things can't really get worse at this point_. I took in a breath and gulped, my cheeks warming as I looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry that I've been acting so weird lately," I finally started, finding it troubling to keep my eyes on him. He finally turned all the way around, his face still looking annoyed. I tried to see past it. "It's just... recently... I've been feeling like..."

"Like what?" Mello practically interrupted, his face growing harsher while he eyes grew even more hopeful.

"That I might... For you..." I choked, my gaze faltering. I looked to my feet. Mello didn't seem to be moving. So I took in a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut, clenching my fists.

"_I like you._"

Mello blinked, giving me an odd look. His eye brows curled. "Uh... I like you, too. But I don't think we can keep living together."

Goddamn it! Why did he have to choose to be naive _now?_ After all the time he's so perceptive to the point it's obnoxious. Maybe he was doing this on purpose. Maybe he just wanted me to get anxious. What an ass hole!

"Shut up, Mello," I snapped, glaring at him. His eyes opened in shock and his face grew red. "For once in your goddamn life, _listen_ to me!" I lifted my legs and stomped over, huffing the entire way. I threw my hands on his shoulders and shook him hard, bending down to be at complete eye level. "_I like you._ Not as my best friend, not as my co-worker, or my boss, or whatever the fuck else we are. I like you as a love interest."

There was a silence. Mello's eyes searched my face in complete disbelief, his eyes wide. His mouth slowly opened into a gape. The silence was pissing me off, so I quickly closed the distance, shoving my lips into his.

There was no refuting, but there was hesitation. It wasn't wet, it wasn't heavy, it was just a kiss. I pulled off for a quick second in a heavy bloody hope he had finally taken the hint. His face still looked shocked, but it quickly shifted into one of pure anger and annoyance.

"You're so stupid!" he screamed quickly, pulling me back into him. His fingers clenched against the fabric over my shirt, breathing loudly through his nose. He broke off for a second, still appearing to be pissed. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?! Do you have any idea how fucking _anxious_ I've been the past week?!"

I forced our lips together again, this time blindly pushing him backwards against the walls. He wasn't hesitant anymore. And suddenly, neither was I. I wasn't afraid of it anymore. I was actually really wanting it. He pushed against my chest, directing me in a semi circle and through his bedroom door. He pushed me completely away, reaching his foot behind the ajar door and violently kicking it shut.

- - -

The next day, I was standing in front of the stove in my boxers, scratching at my chest as my fork cut through the eggs in the frying pan. I was whistling a bit to myself. Mello was still asleep in his room. Or so I thought. I heard his door creak and turned to greet him. He was fully dressed, wearing his usual leather pants and tank top.

"I'm off to the convenience store to grab some chocolate bars," he informed me, doing up the Velcro on his gloves. "What brand of cigarettes do you like?" Wait. What? Was I hearing this right?

"...Players," I responded in disbelief, my eyes wide. What was going on? Mello _never_ went to the store. And he also _never_ agreed to buy me cigarettes.

"Got it," he said passing by me. He slipped his feet into his shoes. "I might be a bit late. I'm going to the beach to do some babe-watching." My face fell at that comment. My cheeks heated in frustration. I wrapped my hands tightly against the frying pan's handle and dashed out to the hallway where Mello was just slipping through the door.

"You pervert!" I screamed, spinning in a circle and throwing the frying pan right at him. He turned around just as it was slipping through the door, slamming him in the face. I heard his body thump against the wall, as well as the sound of eggs and metal slapping to the ground. My face fell. _Oh, shit,_ I managed to think, quickly dashing to the door and flipping the dead bolt.

"Goddamn it Matt, you stupid ass hole!" he shouted, banging his fists against the door. I couldn't help but giggle as I dashed back in my room. "You burnt my fucking face!"

I was glad things were still normal between us. Some secrets are just childish to keep. After all, sometimes keeping them really only makes a situation worse. And when you tell them, it's like it doesn't even matter either way. I mean, sure, it's a lot easier to get laid now. No more going to the clubs, or hitting on girls... But aside from that, we were the exact same. But being different or the same isn't even what mattered. A billion differences could have happened and neither of us would care. The only important thing was, finally, the tension was gone. Not the new sexual orientation, the new experience, the lack of any situational changes... Just that one thing that was lost.

All we cared about was that which was lost.


End file.
